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Written 28th May 2007 by Rich

F1 2007 Monaco Grand Prix ()

"The most boring Monaco Grand Prix in history" - The Sun

The build-up was electric. Monaco is undoubtedly the jewel in the crown of the Formula One season and it was finally here.

Expectation was high for the new English rookie, Lewis Hamilton. He was leading the World Championship after four races leaving Finnish "Ice Man" Raikonnen, greasy Brazilian Massa and current title-holding Champion (his team-mate) Fernando Alonso in his 22-year-old dust. But Lewis was yet to win a race, hell he'd only had four of them so far, it was only his consistency that pulled him through to lead.

And consistency was also the watchword because if Lewis was going to be so here, he was a dead cert to win - in all his years of racing prior to joining Formula One, Lewis had always won at Monaco. Frankly, I'd considered placing a bet.

Why's Monaco such a hot circuit? It's like nothing else on the F1 calendar - it's a bona fide street circuit. for 95% of the year, you can drive round the actual F1 circuit in your car, moped, or even on foot. Although you'd best have a Ferrari Somethingorother or a Lamborghini Superfasterino if you want to fit in. Monaco is a hotbed of the ultra-wealthy. Of course, the other 5% of the year the streets are fully Armco'd up and you'd better be driving a single-seater, open-wheeled racing car if you want to drive to the shops.

Qualifying

Qualifying is now done in three sections. There are 22 cars on the grid, the first round of qualifying (called Q1) sees who can go into the second round to battle it out for the top 15 positions. Anybody in position 16 or over after this first round has set their starting place for the race.

Next round, the 15 racers who set a quick enough time in Q1 get to battle it out to go through to Q3 for the top-10 slots. Anybody who manages only places 11-15 in Q2 have also set their starting positions for the race.

Q3 is when the fun begins. Everybody starts Q3 with their race-fuel. This means that whatever you start Q3 with, fuel-wise, you start the race with. The cars are heavy - much heavier than in Q1 and Q2. But the FIA have a rule which says cars that go out on the track and use up fuel can claim 'fuel credits' back to use in the actual race. So you'll find in Q3 there's plenty of cars just out on the track, ambling about, burning fuel. This means that when they finally do their hot-laps they're as light as possible, and just claim back all the fuel they've burned while ambling. This can cause a problem. While you're trying to set a speedy lap, Joe Bloggs in his million-pound racecar might be out for a dawdle and get in your way. Something that happened to big-chinned Scotsman, David Coulthard, in Q2 - he accidentally held up the brilliant-named Heikke Kovalainen and, despite managing a Q1-class time, he was penalised and set to start in position 16. Bugger.

By the end of Q3, the start positions are set. And Lewis "Win At Monaco" Hamilton was in 2nd - behind team-mate Alonso. Let the race begin...

The Race

The eyes of the world were watching the very start - would Lewis vault into 1st ahead of his team-mate and then lead to the very end? Would he be too courageous and the two McLarens would become a big smoky, silver, Vodafone-emblazened pile of metal and electronics? Or would Lewis simply sit behind Alonso and then nothing much else happen.

Well, I'm sorry to say that the third option was realised.

A mundane start was quickly followed by a mundane first set of pit-stops. Lewis still hung onto the back of Alonso, but Alonso occassionally stuck in a blinding lap to show the young upstart that he had a lot to learn.

The second set of pit-stops came. Lewis wasn't too far behind his McLaren colleague and it looked for a moment that he might leap-frog the Spaniard and romp home to his first F1 win.

But, in keeping with what was turning out to be an uneventful and mind-numbingly 'bleh' race, he didn't.

Then, when I was looking for a cocktail sausage or a handful of tortilla chips to go with my Doritos dip, the race ended.

*sigh*

Well, next is Canada, and that final corner catches out even the most experienced drivers. So hopefully if Lewis doesn't win his first race, we still might catch a glimpse of some expensive, fiery carnage.

Fingers crossed.

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