Stupid is as Stupid Does. (Places and Events)

And I Stupid Did.

I am a muppet. I am stupid. I am thick. There's no other way of putting it. Last Thursday my IQ dropped by 100%, just as I was trying to buy fuel.

Thursday lunchtime I had nipped out at lunchtime to get my ears lowered (hair cut), buy a sweatshirt, and then get a Boots meal deal.

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103 (Places and Events)

The Number of the Beast! Possibly.

Donkeys years ago, before I became the libertarian anarchist I am today, I used to live in a house numbered '103'. In 1990 my family left that house behind and moved into new domiciles. But the number '103' wasn't finished with us yet.

If you've seen the film '23' starring Jim Carrey, it's much the same story for me, only my face isn't quite as rubbery.

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Away Mission To Rome - Day One (Places and Events)

Where Stuff is Big! And Really, Really Old!

Do you ever look down at your feet while lying in bed and think "wow, that's how that's going to look on the gurney when I'm dead"?

Well, being a nervous flier, that's the gear my mind changes into a few days before blasting across the sky in a pressurised tube at 80% the speed of sound. This time, we were jetting to that city of ancient history, Rome! Or, 'Roma' as the locals call it. Poor sods, dyslexia must be rife on The Old Boot.

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2009 is Dead! Long live 2010! (Places and Events)

But still no flying car

2010 came in with a whimper everywhere except in Australia. What has been coined as 'Y2K.1' struck a bank in the upside down land which caused thousands of chip 'n' pin machines to believe it was 2016... thus rendering the Castlemaine XXXX drinkers' cards useless as the system claimed they had expired.

Of course, as everybody knows, we're all going to die in 2012 anyway (John Cusack said so) so this is doubly stupid; of course that is if we assume that this is actually 2010. And the evidence suggests it isn't... My favourite lunchtime toilet fodder is El Reg, a science and technology news site, and they say it might actually be 2015. Or 2014. Or 2006...

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Time Travel is Easy Thanks to Time being Generally Mis-Managed (Places and Events)

Don't even need to go 88mph...

It's lunchtime, 12:00pm. Noon. I want to see what the world looks like at 1:40pm but don't want to wait 100 minutes.

Easy.

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My Royal Air Force Day (Places and Events)

Patriotism at 900 metres per second is the best kind.

My alarm sounds at 6.45am and I leap out of bed and land in the shower. Moments later I am out, dried and dressed in my best non-issue Disruptive Pattern Material clothing (night urban).

I am an eager beaver this Saturday morning because I have a day of new experiences ahead of me.

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LJ Takes to the Skies! (Places and Events)

LJ takes delivery of its jumbo jet...

Due to the success of LostJohnnies.com, G and myself decided to splash out on something a little bit special... a Boeing 747-400... Jumbo jet!

A Boeing 747-400 costs between 220 and 260 million dollars, a snip at 110-130 million pounds. OK, we can argue how much "a snip" really is later on...

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Merry Christmas! (Places and Events)

From all of us at LJ Towers

Festive or seasons greetings or whatever you do or don't do this time of year. Bollocks to it. Merry Christmas all.

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A Lost Johnnies Christmas Tale (Places and Events)

Our Nativity Flash Movie Makes a Comeback

Well, it is the time of year for nativity plays up and down the country, probably throughout the entire Christian world, but did you know they're all completely wrong? See the 'proper' story below.

If this was in a cinema, this'd probably get a 12A 'Guidance' rating...

Toiletiquette (Places and Events)

Use your head when you're using the head, gents.

OK, This is a bit of an odd topic to blog about. But it's one close to my heart (kind of). Gents Toilets Etiquette.

My dad's a plumber, and he said that in the 70's, open-top-and-bottom toilet cubicles came into popularity and they've been with us ever since. These cubicles scare the bajeesus out of me. Open plan offices are one thing, but I'd rather have some airtight nuclear bunker with an armed sentry when I'm going dookie. Open plan crappers are just astonishingly stupid. Especially in this, the 21st century.

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