| Written 9th October 2009 by Rich |
|
And some ill-disguised finger pointing at the Big Software Co's....
Software is something that was once the produce of people with collossal beards who lived in dark rooms, wore sandals, and looked down their glasses-adorned noses at the proles who didn't even know simple two's-complement binary arithmetic.
But now everybody's at it, and some are getting it completely wrong. Somebody needs to lay down the ground rules for software and it might as well be me.
Sin #1: Oi! Give me my focus back
A piece of software should never EVER EVER EVER steal the focus from another. EVER.
I mean never. EVER.
The point of 'focus' is that I am FOCUSSING on a particular task, so I couldn't give two flying expletives about anything else right now. Flash the task in the taskbar, but do not, under any circumstances, pop up in front of the work I'm doing because you will be instantly uninstalled and replaced with something that doesn't mince around like it owns the bleeding place.
Microsoft Windows does this A LOT. Even with the Tweak UI Powertool installed and the "Don't steal the bloody focus no matter what, OK?!" firmly ticked in blood and signed in vitreous jelly.
Just the other day I was copying some files in the background while working on a word document, mid-way through the copy operation a window popped up asking if I wanted to overwrite something that I REALLY didn't want to overwrite. However, in the document I was writing the next character I was typing was 'A'... those who know their Windows standard dialogs (you saddo bastards, you) will realise what happened next. I inadvertently used the shortcut key for 'Overwrite absolutely everything, everything you find, overwrite it!!'.
Which isn't what I wanted to do... I only wanted to type 'A'.
So don't EVER steal focus from other applications. I don't care if you're a 'Nearby Nuclear Power Station Impending Meltdown Alarm Application' - there are better ways of alerting somebody to their inevitable doom (or if you've just found another file that's also called Readme.txt).
Sin #2: Stop using modal dialogs when they stop you doing critical tasks!!
Windows Media Player is now in its 11 iteration - ELEVENTH!!!! For expletive's sake people, do you know what the Apollo project did in its eleventh iteration? THAT'S RIGHT! IT TOOK MEN SAFELY TO THE MOON AND BACK! And you can't even get your bastarding media player to work properly.
Dear lord.
Just today I opened up Windows Media Player ELEVEN and dragged my Music folder onto it. Then what happened?
As it was copying my big pile of legitimate MP3s a window pops up with 'Working....' on it. Wonderful. Any point in this? Can't you just show them loading like Winamp does? No. Apparently. It can't.
Instead what it chooses to do, is start the loudest and most heavy-metallest of my music collection (turned up to 11), the shock waves from my headphones turn the little bones in my ears that allow me to hear to dust, and then melts my brain to the point that the only emotion that I can now express is severe hatred of software (did you notice?).
Windows Media Player kindly has a volume slider thingy on it. Before my eyeballs melt too, I remedially click on the volume slider and try to turn down the mus--
*BING*
I said... I tried to turn down the...
*BING*
Arrghh
*BING* *BING* *BING*
The OHMYFREAKINGHELLGODJESUSCRAPPINGBASTARDS dialog that is still "Working" on importing my music collection is modal therefore preventing me from using ANY of the controls on WMP11.
And causing my head to melt from the inside.
DONT EVER DO THIS AGAIN MICROSOFT OR I WILL COME TO REDMOND AND PLAY RAMMSTEIN TURNED UP TO 11 THOUSAND UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED TOO!!!!!!!!!
And you owe me a new head. This one is broken.
And quite angry.
Sin #3: If you have one purpose in life, BE VERY GOOD AT IT
Recently Firefox (my favourite browser) has been occassionally doing something weird on Facebook. It loads Facebook but refuses to recognise the fact that the page is littered with hyperlinks (you know, those things that THE INTERNET IS MADE OUT OF?!?!?!) and refuses to let me click on anything let alone turn my cursor into a little pointy finger thing.
If you're a browser, then let me BROWSE like a pro.
If you're a Media Player, then be a bloody brilliant Media Player, if you're iTunes, then hope to God that Apple hires a Usability Specialist to get your bloated, slugging arse in gear before Apple stocks crumble (see what I did there?) and they can't afford to keep Steve Jobs in replacement organs and private jets.
If Apple did the RIGHT THING and made iTunes better, and simpler to use, they could literally save Steve Jobs's life if he has any further complications in the future.
SAVE STEVE JOBS'S LIFE - COMPLAIN ABOUT ITUNES TO APPLE!!
Pages: 1
|
| Visit our hand-selected affiliate... |
| |
|
Recent Blogs
| Written 17th May 2010, by Rich |
|
103
The Number of the Beast! Possibly.
|
|
Have you also seen....?
|
login