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Also, some stuff about cars...
It has been known, on occasion, for me to be a bit camp.
That sound you're hearing is everybody I know saying in unison (and in disbelief), "on occasion?!!"
However, I've just come back from Somerfield: a drunk-on-medication run out for essential supplies and vitamin C while I get over the mother of all chest infections, and I see this bloke mincing down the path on the way towards Somerfield while I drive past. The Alpha-Male, Prejudicial Cortex in my brain reacts to the societal programming I have received since starting school and mouths 'bloody woofter' at him using only brainwaves.
Then as a way of fate putting me back in my place, he stops for a second while his rather nice blonde girlfriend catches up pushing a buggy, they share an embrace and a bit of a lip-lock.
So while I sit here mentally berating myself for becoming another chauvinistic, misogynistic, bigoted sheep, I ask you, when did men start getting so bloody camp? Limp wrists and floppy hair and those bloody awful skinny jeans are all the rage, and the really annoying thing is that it's the most limp-wristed, floppy-haired, skinny-jeaned camp lads who have stunning girls hanging off their arms...?
It's weird how times change.
Anyway, onto something far more interesting. CARS!
Despite the recession making the money under your mattress (god forbid it be in a banking institution) worthless, car makers are still churning out new designs for their cars. Some are absolute winners, while others have lost the plot...
Ferrari have absolutely not lost the plot with the latest 458 Italia. This came out of nowhere to the shock of everybody...
She's a cutie. Without a doubt. Certainly better than the bloody awful Vauxhall-esque abomination that fell out of the Scuderia last year in the form of the California...
Urgh.
Mercedes.
I love what Mercedes has done with the SLR Moss. Maybe it's the 'compensating for something' bonnet, those F1 splitter lines up front, or the sexy and styled roll-over hoops... but something about this car makes me feel warm and jiggly.
Over-styled, over-designed and a bit too much? Yes, yes and oh god yes. But it looks almost organic. It has that sleekness that big cats have in the Serengeti. Or Something. It's nice. I really like its rawness. It's grrrrr.
Even Renault are doing something right:
Where the crap did this come from Frenchies??!
It's like a VW Scirocco that's been seeped in garlic and Brie overnight. I mean that in a good way. It's French, but it looks great!
Like the Status of Liberty.
(Did I mention I'm drugged up because of this chest infection??)
Lamborghini
Lambo have always been my favourite supercar maker. The Reventon last year was awesome. Now, to celebrate Valentino Balboni's leaving of the company (the superb chief test driver who's been with the company over 40 years) those crazies in Italy have come up with the LP550-2.
Presenté, the Balboni...
That's a lot of niceness. And perhaps the last of the current breed of Lamborghinis before the shrunk-down Reventon arrives on dealer forecourts.
Audi
I'm an Audi fan. A BIIIIIG Audi fan. did I mention that? They've just made the R8 even better by making it a V10:
And I'm a big fan of the TT RS!
YES PLEASE. It has none of the 'hairdresser' pretentions of the standard TT and just looks like a baby R8.
The thing is, it looks different enough from the r8 to NOT be afflicted by the Boxster/911 syndrome. Boxsters are Porsches for people who can't afford Porsches. but the TT RS isn't an Audi R8 for people who can't afford Audi R8s... it's a car in its own right with its own demographic. I love it.
Now onto the losers.
McLaren.
Yes, I said McLaren. Under the title losers. Meaning Automotive, not [just] F1.
Remember this from the 1990s?
If that hadn't happened, and McLaren brought out the F1 today - it wouldn't look like a 1990s car. It only looks dated a little now because we're all used to it.
But when McLaren announces it is bringing out a new car, a supercar, and it is 2009, you expect warp drives, dilithium crystals, and a shape to put Italy to shame...
But they've cocked up.
They've broken the McLaren charm...
They've produced the bastard lovechild of the Lotus Evora:
(which isn't, in itself, a bad looking car, for Lotus, in fact I like it) and the Ferrari F430:
Here's what McLaren thinks follows their "good enough is not good enough" principles:
Would I have one? Yes of course. It's a good looking car, it's a great looking car. But it's nothing.... new... or...
How can I put this best?
I think McLaren are victims of their own success. The MP4-12C (catchy isn't it!) would be excellent if it came from a different stable: Lamborghini, Lotus, even Audi, or Ferrari, or Toyota, perhaps the new NSX from Honda? (Actually, it does look like it could be the NSX replacement).
But McLaren? It's just about average. You've set our expectations too high, then failed to deliver.
Sorry!
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